I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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