if i can run in heels then i can drive
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Holy sore nipples Batman
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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