Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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