He is like the real live version of the state fair..
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize