When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
