Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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