Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize