is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
