Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
