I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
