wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
