My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
