you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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