we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize