i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
