he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
