I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
