He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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