i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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