one two three fourrrrnication!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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