Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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