I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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