I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
