I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
