I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize