he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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