I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
