I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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