If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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