if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
