I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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