I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No subtext here. People are naked.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I am one with the molecules
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
