Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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