Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize