it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
