forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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