When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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