My brain says no but my pants say off.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
