i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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