I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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