I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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