First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
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