Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
