Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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