marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
