I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
