This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
