my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Panties = found
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
