fuck your aforementioned shoe
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
there is puke in my bra ... again
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