Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize