No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
