I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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