I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
