Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
