do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
