Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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