Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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