Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Farmville is her only friend.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
