1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
