A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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