I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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