He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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